Dreams do come true. Did you know that?
I realized that there are things we hope and pray and ask God for that He does indeed give us; things that are just desires of our hearts, our wants but not necessarily our needs.
A few weeks ago, as I was getting ready to head to my church on a Thursday evening for my first worship team practice, I reflected on the past few months. I hopped onto my Instagram account (if you’re not familiar, it’s social networking using pictures) and I scrolled through my own pictures back to August 1, 2012. I had done a ‘photo-a-day-challenge’ for the month of August, and the first day was supposed to be a picture of my dream job. I posted the below photo and captioned it, “day one-dream job: lead worship.”
I don’t really know why I choose that as a dream job, but there is just this draw I feel to it. Not for the attention of being in front of people or being the leader or anything, I just feel pulled to worship. There’s something so captivating about it and consuming that makes it, honestly, one of my favorite parts of my walk with Christ.
46 weeks it had been since I posted that picture and there I was, gearing up and getting ready to attend my first rehearsal. My desire pre-dates even that, but it was the first time I’d publically made it known that I took an interest in it.
I was overwhelmed with joy and excitement and an overall gratitude because God has made this possible for me. I was thanking Him over and over and over again because, even though I wasn’t leading, I was going to be up there singing His praises and being able to hear the voices of my congregation coming back at me as they lift them up to Him. I was so pumped!
But then He took me back a few years and made me realize that He wasn’t giving me a gift I’d wanted for a few months…He gave me something I asked for years ago without even realizing I’d asked for it.
A few years before I was saved, I attended the church I now belong to for a few months with my dad and step-mom. At the time, it was their church, and I was curiously getting to know a little bit about the Lord. I weighed my skills and gifts, and I’d been in music most of my life, and I thought it would be fun to continue that on. What better place to use it than to offer it to a church, right? I wasn’t a Christian, but I wanted to be- and I wanted to be up there. Prayer wasn’t something that came easily to me then, nor did I truly understand it yet, so I can’t say I prayed for it, but looking back, I know that God knew the desire of my heart, and He knew when and how He’d grant it to me.
However, sadly, I slipped away as the world drew me back in and my musical and artistic ability atrophied, as did my passion and hunger to learn about God, just like anything else that doesn’t get used for a few years.
Once I became a Christian, I attended a very small inner city church about once a month for a year where my desire to lead worship was rekindled and grew. I lacked the support and help I needed, but the seed was planted there. After one long year, I met my now-boyfriend and my group of closest friends at my church who are all pretty well involved with my church’s worship team and all independently musically talented; and that’s when God opened the door.
He didn’t swing it open, letting if fly off the hinges, but rather, he cracked it open and gave me the opportunity to take the handle and open it at my own pace as I was comfortable talking about it and pursuing it. Over the past few months, I’ve grown more and more at ease when I sing along to songs or with other people and I’ve been regaining my confidence “on stage” (for lack of a better phrase).
The Lord held my hand as I asked our worship pastor to join the team and He held me up on shaking knees when he sprung an impromptu audition on me that very same day (thanks, Pastor haha).
And when I finally stood up there that first Sunday morning and raised my hands high to praise Him, it was like I could feel Him reach down and touch my fingertips and just smile at me. It was the best “you’re welcome” I’ve ever received.
Like I said, every once in a while, we want for things that we don’t NEED. I don’t NEED to be a worship leader. It’s not necessary to survive as a Christian to be on a worship team. Only He is necessary.
And come to think of it, I don’t think I ever specifically asked the Lord to put me up there, either. I know I can’t recall asking directly for it, but it was on my heart and it was there for a long time.
And I promise you, I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I’ve done nothing to deserve grace, let alone something as superfluous as this, but God has His reasons. He’ll use it for His own good, and I just love yet another avenue to be an instrument for the Lord’s glory.
If there’s something on your heart, don’t be afraid to ask for it. I know it might seem silly to want something extra, something fun or exciting, when you know how much others are suffering, but God has time for us all. He loves us all, and He longs to bring us joy and see us smile as our lives proclaim His truth. I don’t know why or how God gave me this opportunity, but please be encouraged in all of your desires – big or small, superficial or deep – if it fits into His will, He’ll bring it to you; and if it doesn’t, just wait, because He’s about to reveal something greater.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” –Psalm 37:4