anxiety, Christ, emotions, fear

blinded by the light.

Have you ever had one of those painful moments with the Lord where you know He’s doing work on you but it gets so uncomfortable at times, because it’s exposing things you’d rather not have exposed? I feel like I might be going through a time like that, or rather trying to avoid a time like that inadvertently. Now that I’m aware, I’m not going to resist it so much though.
I was reading a chapter out of Battlefeild of the Mind by Joyce Meyer this evening, and she makes an interesting comparison. She says that when you live in the dark for so long, it hurts to come out into the light.
And that got me thinking…
So, to do a little experiment illustrating this, I sat in the dark for a while. It was pretty well close to completely black. And then, very suddenly, I turned on the light and attempted to look right at it – and man, I don’t know if my eyes ever closed as fast. And they stung!
Coming to God with new levels and depths of us that need His lavish love and healing is a lot like this, I’m learning. We lock it away in a dark area where it can be left alone and we don’t have to face it. The problem is, we’re still carrying it around without handling the issue at all, and it becomes baggage. It’s like a suitcase full of poison, and it just eventually contaminates everything else around it, and then everything else around that, and so on until eventually we have a room in our hearts that looks like it belongs on an episode of A&E’s imagesHorders and instead of cleaning it up, we just turn off the light and shut the door; except we are hoarders of pain and strife and wounds, rather than hoarders of junk. And then, also like the show, one day, someone is going to come up to us and say, “Hey. You’ve got a problem over there you need to figure out or I can’t be around you anymore. I’m not going to watch you kill yourself.”
You might be thinking, that’s a little dramatic, Sam and maybe you’re right. But they say it on the show and the Lord says that the wage of sin is death (Romans 6:23).
God will probably send someone to say something that to you, to convict you, or He’ll use the power of the Holy Spirit and He’ll tell you Hisself that you’re on the path to destruction.
But when you turn to Him, He’ll come in like that organizational specialist and He’ll sort through all your junk with you and gently ask you to throw old things that are basically garbage away. But to get through it all, He’ll go layer by layer, row by row of baggage and junk, from the front of the room to the back until it’s all cleared out.
Like with each new inch of floor they expose on the show, with each new layer of my heart that God is peeling back and exposing, I find something new to overcome. New level, new devil. And I’ll be totally honest, I don’t always like it. When that light shines in where it’s been dark for so long, it’s hard to look at it and I just want to squint and close my eyes so I don’t go blind Journeyanymore. But you know what? At this point, I’d rather go blind and see nothing but His light instead of closing my eyes to shield myself from Him.
I need Him to change me. I can’t change me and some other person surely can’t either; only God can and I believe He will. He began a work in me and He will see it through to completion (Philippians 1:6).
So I can’t advocate going out first thing in the morning and looking straight up at the sun, I do recommend taking a deep breath and looking straight at the Son. Because when you are blinded by His light, you won’t be able to see any of the baggage around you as He clears it out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s