gaining weight and gaining an idol.

Someone told me a little while ago, “If you start making noise declaring God’s truth, the devil’s gonna come after you. Be ready for a fight.” She wasn’t offering it as a warning, so much as a heads up to make sure I’m covered in the armor of God before I go stepping out of the crowd a little bit, shouting Jesus’ name from the rooftops.
I knew she was right, but recently, I’m not so happy with the way I’ve become so vulnerable.
I can’t say I had a preconceived notion of what areas the devil would attack me in, but I feel like I should’ve seen this one coming:

scale
Since I announced the be.you.ty project ( https://samfindsfaith.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/the-be-you-ty-project/ ) I have struggled more with body image and physical insecurities than I have in months. And also, I’ve felt too defeated to change anything about it. For the past week, I have been obsessed with dieting and have felt helpless to maintain one (sad, because it’s been about 10 days), and I’ve started to hate my hair and complexion which you ladies know, stress only causes more break outs. I’ve become increasingly more aware of every ounce gained and the way every article of clothing fits me differently. I have not spent nearly as much time working out as I used to and the atrophy of my muscle tone is also increasingly more obvious to me. This has literally consumed most of my thoughts.

And I can see where this is going. If I don’t get my head on straight and fix my eyes on Jesus, I’m going to spiral out of control. I will become more and more obsessed with my weight, diet, and pant size that it will become and idol that I literally worship. It will chain me into slavery in my mind. exercise

While I do believe exercise and eating healthy are magnificent ways to maintain and take care of our temple, it’s not the fabric that holds our lives together.

By opening up the door to this project, which carries a goal of equipping women with the weapons (scripture and God’s truth) to combat insecurities, I’ve opened a door of attack on myself to revert to a former mindset of being overly critical of my body and a general lack of self-confidence.
The fortunate thing about that familiarity, though, is this: I’ve been there before and I’m recognizing the scenery.
I refuse to let that be me. It’s gotten this far and this is where it stops. Whether I’m at my goal weight or not… whether my make-up is on or not… whether my legs are tone, my hair is frizzy, my skin is clear OR NOT… I refuse to let that take the place of my God in my life. It will not be worshipped or obsessed over any longer.

First and foremost: I am beautiful in the eyes of my Maker and He calls me His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).
He is for me, therefore there is nothing that I will fear – not even the scale or the mirror (Romans 8:31). I especially won’t fear a mirror, because I’m a follower of Christ therefore I reflect Christ Himself (2 Corinthians 3:18).
Period. The argument ends there.
There is no need to pursue the argument any further because the enemy has been defeated for 2,000+ years and he isn’t going to trick me into being afraid of something as small as a scale.

*Side note: You know, I thought about trying to hide the scale from myself so as not to be tempted to step on it, but God says I’m a conqueror (Romans 8:37) and He promises to provided me a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13) so I think it can stay right where it’s at. I don’t have to hide from it.
Man, it feels great to declare God’s truth! He is so empowering!

And ladies, my advice to you- please be watchful; there is a careful balance between taking care of your body and being a slave to it, just as there is a delicate balance between being self-confident and being conceited or not living in fear of your weight and a total lack of consideration for it.
Be healthy, but don’t make it an idol. We are to love the Lord our God with all we have, not ourselves and not our foods…
Which leads me to believe the following whole-heartedly:
ANY SORT OF EATING DISORDER OR LOATHING OF OUR PHYSICAL BEING CAN BE SEEN AS IDOLATRY, WHICH VIOLATES THE FIRST COMMANDMENT.

Idolatry has been something I’ve become more and more aware of within interpersonal relationships, but idolatry isn’t just another god or another person- it is anything we rank with higher importance than the one true God Almighty.

God loves us, sisters, just as we are. There is nothing more beautiful to Him, I promise you. And if our bodies are good enough for Him to accept, who are we to challenge that? We have absolutely nothing to be afraid of. No scale, mirror, skinny jeans, or devil are going to get us down!

Take care, and be healthy, but worship only God. Please pray for me and I will pray for you, and like the Proverbs 31 woman, let’s go on laughing without fear.

sam

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