Christ, emotions, faith, satan, trust, unbelief

confession: I used to be an atheist.

confessionalConfession: I used to be an atheist.

For a while there, I claimed to be an “agnostic” because it sounded so much nicer… but truth be told, I was a full-blown atheist.
I believe in no heaven, no hell. I believed there was no God, no devil. There was only me and the people around me that I could touch and feel. My body would be buried when I died, and that would be it. For a while, it was just a “phase” and I sort of did it to be a rebellious kid… But when the weight of my proclamation really hit me, I felt so alone. Life felt so meaningless.

And honestly, I just want to take a second right now to THANK GOD for rescuing me from that hopelessness.

Fast-forward almost 10 years into the future- I have hope, a future beyond this life, more meaning than I can even fathom, joy, peace, and also… a spiritual enemy, who I’m noticing wants to use my hopless past to get to me.
Reading the Bible just last night with my fiancée and I started to have these thoughts that “this is impossible. It’s impossible.”

And this morning, the Lord filled me with such zeal with this once statement:

So you know what? The argument that says, “that’s impossible!” IT IS!!

It’s impossible for a man to be created from dust. (Genesis 2:7)
It’s impossible to part a sea. (Exodus 14)
It’s impossible to be healed by touching someone’s shirt. (Luke 8:43-48)
It’s impossible for God to love us this much. (John 13:16)
It’s impossible for a man to be completely sinless. (Hebrews 4:15, 9:14; 1 John 3:5, 2 Corinthians 5:21))
It’s impossible for that man to DIE AND RISE FROM THE GRAVE. (Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20).

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
(Matthew 19:26)

Without an enemy, why would I suddenly, after 2 years of believing with all my heart, knowing and seeing God work in multiple lives, feeling the physical presence of Christ, being personally healed miraculously, and being CHANGED – out of nowhere question the validity of this book that has brought me LIFE?

It was with that realization that I got up out of bed and called a spade a spade. I said – out loud – to the enemy attacking me on the battlefield of my mind: “If this wasn’t real, if this is all so impossible that it never happened, then you wouldn’t be here right now. My God is real, my Savior is alive, and I BELIEVE THIS. I KNOW THIS. JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE.”

And let me tell you how powerful that felt. Let me tell you what it feels like to know God is rushing into your corner in a spiritual battle and reminding the opponent that IT IS ALREADY FINISHED. (John 19:30).

Know that anything you every thought or believed is an area that the enemy will use to sway you back into desolation and hopelessness, and generally, into a place where you are without God. But arm yourself with the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17) and you will be ready for anything that enemy can throw at you.


For those who might be curious as to how an atheist can me know Christ and believe in all that the Bible has to say, I’ll put it simply: even though I didn’t believe, I wanted to. I didn’t know what I wanted to believe, but I wanted there to be more. More to life, more to me.. more to… anything. I was 15 when it all came to a head and Iknew what I believed was very dark. And as I grew up, I chased that “more” in so many things (men mostly, but also friends, alcohol, work, art, music, etc..), I kept coming up empty.
It wasn’t until I met someone who had this incredible testimony that I finally realized just what God’s healing can do and I decided I didnt just WANT to know that God, I needed to know Him. And the more I’ve learned, the more I know that I haven’t even begun to udnerstand just HOW MUCH I need Him.
However, what I have learned has also shown me that He is worth everything I gave up, everything I left behind, from the people, to the things, to the beliefs.
Please feel free to comment questions, or email anything from prayer requests, to testimony, to whatever at

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