God is faithful. Even in the midst of chaos, He’s faithful. 

It’s end of business day on a Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thursday, and the day after is Friday. And Friday is my final day of full-time employment outside of the home.
At 5:00, I will leave the building I have called my work home for nearly four years, and I will leave my key fob behind. My computer will be wiped clean and my employment will officially be terminated.

The rest of my life right now is absolute chaos. And I won’t get into the details, but trust me when I tell you that the last few weeks have been brutally disappointing. I’ve often felt like I’m getting hit by waves before I’ve even managed to get my head above the last wave that hit me. My anxiety is high and frequent. I’m walking around with an almost permanent heaviness on my chest that makes me nauseous and makes it hard to breathe. But you know what? God is faithful.

Mostly because He just is, but my life is right now so evident of His faithfulness, because, in two days, I will work only for…my family.

Peace-in-chaos

Since I read Titus 2 more than 2 years ago, I’ve felt the calling of the Lord telling me to be “busy in the home.” For more than two years, I have prayed fervently for the Lord to move in the heart of my husband to bring us to this point that we would actually step out in faith on something we’ve believed that God put before us. I have prayed for twice that time to be able to be “just a mom:” to be there when my kids wake up and when they go to bed, that they might know the benefit of a parent that put them before a career like my sister and I did in our young childhood, that we might live out an example of faith an obedience to what the Lord set forth for me as this man’s wife and these kids’ mother.

And at 5:00 on Friday, that becomes a reality.

Evening and morning and noon will I pray, and cry out aloud, and He shall hear my voice. (Psalm 55:17)

So despite everything else that fell apart in our lives last week, despite everything else that is stressing me out or bringing me down, and despite all of the schemes of the devil trying to keep my mind away from the good and pure and lovely things of God, I will fix my eyes on this truth, that GOD. IS. FAITHFUL. HE HEARS MY PRAYERS. AND HE GIVES US THE DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS.

Therefore, I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them and they will be granted unto you. (Mark 11:24)

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 34)

It wasn’t without waiting, sisters. It wasn’t without heartache, desperation, tears, and anger. And I certainly haven’t earned it. It’s by His loving-kindness and His grace alone that this is even possible. And His display of His trustworthiness in this is evidence enough to give me hope for the rest of our lives that are still in waiting for clarity, answers, provision, or deliverance.

Call upon Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know. (Jeremiah 33:3)

This is the confidence that we have in Him that if we ask anything according to Your will, You will hear us. (1 John 5:14)

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