Yesterday had been a day, y’all. And not necessarily for good reasons. I was brutally reminded what happens when you join someone else’s fight, and defend yourself, what you believe in, and those who may not be able to defend themselves.
Last night I went to bed consumed by hate. Not that I hated anyone, but the hate in the hearts of others – and sometimes even just the indifference of others completely overwhelmed me. I was physically and emotional exhausted.
This is a picture from a few weeks ago of me trying to mentally prepare myself to do a wheel pose during my yoga practice. They scare me a little bit, and I usually spend a few minutes psyching myself up for them every time they come up in my flow. I keep pushing because conquering fears is necessary. Thankfully, they scare me a lot less now that I’ve been working hard at them in an Instagram yoga challenge with dozens of other people practicing the same thing, and I don’t need nearly as much time to psych myself up about them, but it seemed a fitting picture. It illustrates a lot how I felt.
But, I still believe that each man is guilty of the good he does not do, and that if we are silent, we are compliant in injustices around us.
So I don’t regret what I said in my previous post or my choice to use my platform the way that I did.
I won’t be bullied but I will strive for grace. I will not be misrepresented, but will always search for truth. I will not bury my head in the sand, but will always try to be aware – aware of myself, my community, and my nation.
I feel a little beat up, but I’m so encouraged.
Today, despite still being pretty groggy and tired, I’m feeling really renewed. I know there’s hate, I know there’s indifference, but I’m not alone in caring. I’m reminded that I’m not the only person repulsed by injustices and tragedy, and I’m not the only person who wants to make a difference. My heart isn’t the only one bleeding. My voice isn’t the only one crying out for the world to be better.
For all the people that reached out to me with shared experiences, THANK YOU. Your words meant more to me than you know.
To everyone who reached out with open and softened hearts, I thank you so much too. You’ve given me hope.
I feel like, now, all we need is to find each other and cry out together. It’s together that we’ll drown out and rise above all the other bull shit being blabbed on about by those that are unaware, indifferent, or against inclusion and diversity. Banding together is how we’re going to make our communities more inclusive, safer, more honest, and better places.