“You’re always one decision away from a completely different life.” 


I saw this a while ago and it’s been floating around my mind for a bit. And just thinking in context, I have a few friends going through some very personal but very familiar stuff, and I’m just struck by just how absolutely true this statement is. 

And how I knew it when I made my choice, how I knew it as I continued to make that choice, and just how loudly I can shout this truth from the rooftops. 

I just want to say to those of you who are so broken and so unhappy and so unfulfilled… to those of you slowly suffocating by the illusion that your life is together or perfect… to those of you who hate your circumstances… to those of you who feel so betrayed, cheated, and rejected… 

One choice is the only thing that stands between you and the life you want. 

Now let me be clear, your choice and your happiness isn’t mine. My choice was to leave and make the life I dreamt of with someone who’s dreams more closely aligned with mine. You might ultimately choose similarly. But yours might be to choose a totally different perspective or game plan. Yours might be to choose to grin and bear it. Or yours might not have anything to do with your relationship or marriage, but instead be to move houses (or regions, even), take another job, to tell someone the truth about what you’ve been doing in secret, go back to school,to add to your family, get a puppy, donate your belongings… whatever it is. It’s one decision away, and it’s just a matter of deciding that’s what is going to be and setting your mind and heart to it. 

The life change follows. 

Now, I won’t say it’s easy or even easier than whatever you’re doing before this. It could likely be harder. 

I hinted before that I made a choice and had to keep making it. For more than a year, I’ve continued making that choice, and in the beginning, it was definitely the harder thing to do. (When they tell you that leaving your husband for someone else or anything else is taking the easy way out, it’s a lie, a scare tactic. There’s nothing easy about it). I faced a lot of opposition and many trying obstacles. But almost a year and a half later, this decision I keep making feels natural and easy. I don’t even have to think about it anymore. 

One giant leap of courage to have what I wanted, what I needed. And in time, without my even noticing it, it’s now just the life I live and love. 

You don’t have to do exactly what I did. But you should do something if you’re unhappy. Make that choice. Decide it. And decide it again tomorrow. And don’t give up on deciding it. 

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