In yoga, anything that allows me to crack my chest open and spread my arms out wide, allowing my heart to just explode out of my chest is my favorite. And I just find that very interesting as someone really exploring the depth of my practice lately.
Because in life, I really do find so much pleasure and value in sort of laying my heart all out on the table. Even when it’s hard, I get a sort of honest satisfaction by pouring out my thoughts and feelings and intentions and, really, just my whole being. Not because I or my thoughts and feelings superior or more important, but because – at least this is what I’ve surmised so far – that I lived so long being someone else, ashamed of who I was, scared that I wouldn’t be understood, or even just feeling like I was less than everyone else somehow.
It just bottled up over time, maybe. All these thoughts and feelings, and what makes me ME, just got stored up until I just… destructed. And so now, I think it’s almost like a weird sort of self preservation that I share so much.
It’s survival because I know what it’s like to die that death in inauthenticity and dishonesty, but it’s also joy, because I know too, what it’s like to come back to life after it. I know the relief and hope of bearing your soul to another and hearing those beautiful words of, “me too,” and even better, the bliss of being known so deeply, and being loved to those depths.
And maybe, just maybe, these things that integrate our spiritual, emotional, and physical selves know this in me. And that’s why every heart opener, no matter how challenging, feels as refreshing as a cold drink of water on a hot day.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10 NIV)
Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind… (Psalm 26:2 NIV)
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people… (Ephesians 1:18 NLT)
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. (Matthew 5:8 NIV)
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14 NIV)