because why wouldn’t morning sickness draw me to praise?

Ready to get really real with me, guys? Because it’s about to get real.

Yesterday, after 31 weeks of pregnancy, and 15 weeks of respite from morning sickness, I had a resurgence. It was great… (not).

But it kind of took me back. For as much as I joke about the misery that is constant nausea and vomiting – gross, I know, sorry, but I promise it’s going somewhere – there really are worse things (at least, for me. You mamas with hyperemisis gravidarum are going though the realest, and I salute you. I don’t make light of your experience at all. Bless you, guys).

Often, as I found myself cradled around a toilet or sink, ‘Ever Be’ by Bethel Music would echo in my head. If you’re not familiar, the song reads as follows:

Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold
Like a vow that is tested like a covenant of old
Your love is enduring through the winter rain
And beyond the horizon with mercy for today

Faithful You have been and faithful you will be
You pledge yourself to me and it’s why I sing

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips (4x)

You Father the orphan
Your kindness makes us whole
And you shoulder our weakness
And your strength becomes our own
Now you’re making me like you
Clothing me in white
Bringing beauty from ashes
For You will have Your bride

Free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame
And known by her true name and it’s why I sing

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips (4x)

You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord (2x)

And it’s why I sing
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips (4x)

At first, these seemed like a mischievous way to poke fun at me while I dry heaved nothingness out of my body. We all should know and appreciate that we do, in fact, serve a God with a sense of humor, and who, at times, even appreciates a good dose of sarcasm.

But over time, I’m seriously coming to marvel just the smallest, silliest ways we can meet with the Lord, and He with us, even in the most unsavory and unflattering moments. As if my life is anything other than a testimony to that fact as it is! Of course He would continue, even now, to remind me that He is not afraid of my mess and that He’s with me through every trial and struggle, gently beckoning me to find praise and joy in the hard times, as He restores my soul and acts as my strength to persevere.

So, while it still makes me giggle just a bit that, of all the things to get stuck in my head while I’m vomiting, it would be a praise and worship song, I have nothing but appreciation and love for a God who isn’t afraid of the messy, unkempt, uncouth moments (or seasons) of life, is willing to sustain us through those times, and welcomes us to praise Him there just the same as we would at church in our Sunday best.

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