“Some people will never like you. Because your spirit irritates their demons.”
I know full well that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes I am too ambitious, too forward, too optimistic, too bubbly, too casual, too… whatever. Some of those things are a lack of sensitivity on my part, I admit it, and others are just that there’s something about me that triggers a negative response from someone else. Or maybe, it just doesn’t trigger a response at all. And that’s okay.
Growing up without much conflict between myself and my peers, this was a hard pill to swallow. I always prided myself in being generally likeable and able to get along well with many different kinds of people, which is still true, but when I stared to learn that it wasn’t always going to be easy to get along with everyone, and that not everyone was interested in making it work with me, either.
So, I do what I can to live at peace with everyone, but I no longer strive to be liked or appreciated by everyone I know. It’s less about walking away with two fingers up to anyone who doesn’t like me, so much as it is about not forcing myself on people, changing who I am to be liked, and neglecting my most valuable relationships for ones that maybe just weren’t meant to be that close.
Letting go of that expectation has allowed me to pour into the relationships that matter most, to invest in people who need me the most, and to seek help from those I need in return.
And it’s been beautiful. My quality of life has increased in the decreasing my level of concern with the opinions of others, and the quality of my relationships have increased with the time and effort I have now to pour into them.
Furthermore, it’s given me a different understanding and peace about others who aren’t really interested in maintaining relationships or even forming new ones. Accepting that they are entitled to their personal preferences, or even recognizing that maybe things about me bring up some unpleasant feelings or memories that make it unlikely for us to have a fruitful and enjoyable relationship, has made the “let go, and let be” so much easier to bear.
“She realized she could no longer carry the weight of other people’s expectation or the responsibility for their happiness.
She realized she could decide to be at peace herself. And she could care for herself well.
She practiced listening and loving, and setting healthy boundaries.
She stopped wearing things to make herself look slimmer or hipper, and began to wear laughter and curiosity instead.
She grew happy.”