faith

float.

In times of great trouble and distress, I try to reflect on the idea of deep water.

In and of itself, deep water gives me real anxiety too, I hate deep water. I’m hard pressed to think of something I fear more greatly.

But I can’t help but think that makes this visual all the more effective for me.

I just imagine it – drifting in some vast, unknown water of unfathomable depths. And when the panic begins to consume my heart, and I can’t breathe, I begin to talk to myself with sense.

I’m more likely to survive by relaxing and allowing my natural buoyancy to carry me.

Remember that God built me to rise and be held. For all the things that scare me to come under my feet and elevate me.

And He gave me the same spirit that walks on the water.

That along with Him, I can find so much peace and rest, even in the midst of the waves, that I could sleep.

And I find rest.

I know it’s chaos all around me. I know I have a right to be afraid. I can validate myself in that. But if I surrender to peace, breathe through my fear and resist the urge to fight these feelings, I know that the natural buoyancy of my spirit will rise above that which frightens me and robs me of my joy. I know I will float to the surface of the sea that tries to drown me, and it’s there that I will know and feel and taste the hope of survival.

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